Of Monsters and Men
by Shadow of One
Summary: A brief glimpse at the life of Edward Cullen through his eyes, while he led his vigilante life.


I don't own Twilight. And I only like the books.

* * *

I stared out of my apartment window down at all of the bright shinning lights of the city beneath me. The burning bulbs of yellow, green, red, and a host of other colors most humans could not, nor would never see. It would be Christmas soon. Just two more days. The snow fell lightly in swirling patterns through the air to litter the ground and rooftops where they so pleased. I inhaled deeply through my nostrils.

There was no more complicated smell, then that of the city as a whole.

Humans pulsated through the massive concrete labyrinth- flowing in rhythm with no particular beat other than their own frantic schedule, taking them nowhere and everywhere they needed to be. Much like the blood that flowed through their veins- it was the smell of their blood which permeated their skin and soaked the clean snow filled air, so much so that the flakes themselves could have been red. This feast, this bouquet, was what truly pulsed through the city and was the only thing that was ever of any consequence to me. But it was not only that smell which floated through the air, for there were many other aromas which permeated and tainted the wind which floated up and through the concrete jungle. Hatred, malice, malcontent, sensuality, and fear also carried their own smells.

I exhaled and watched the glass fog in front of me. It all stank. It ruined the bouquet.

Voices, like the flies of the Devil himself, buzzed in and around my head. The noise was sometimes simply unbearable. If I did have the ability to sleep, I don't think I would have ever gotten any in this God-forsaken place. And it was truly God-forsaken, as this place crawled with the lowest vermin and filth of mankind. This city, like most other cities, I would imagine, was a Petri-dish which bred the scum of humanity. And as much as I hated every brick in every building of the massive construct of the land- I needed it. For it was on this scum, this filth, these abominations who did not posses even the shred of light necessary to call themselves "human", that I fed.

At one point I mused, that I was alike to some kind of evil angel.

I closed my eyes in concentration. I listened to the voices, heading their calls, unable to respond. The tones of thoughts spoke in the multitudinous thousands, making harmonies, chords, and if there had ever been some kind of rhythm, or pulse for the voices to conform to- then there might have even been music. I felt my fingers trace and play the keys of air in front of me subconsciously, while I listened for the unlucky soul who was so black in their heart that they would be the one to die tonight.

_That bastard! I can't believe he cheated on me!_

No.

_I swear to God, when she gets home, I am going to beat her until her teeth fall out!_

Closer.

_Kill…I have to kill again…its time to kill again._

Ah. A winner.

It was a man, roughly between the ages of 40 and 47…I could have easily deciphered more from the victims thoughts, narrowing down to his exact age. I might have even gained the knowledge of what he looked like- but what was the point? He would die tonight. He deserved to die tonight. I honed in more carefully to the voice, doing my best to shut out the other white noise.

_A girl? Maybe a boy? No, a girl…they bleed so beautifully…_

His thoughts disgusted me. This parasite of mankind, who fed upon the innocent- he would die this night. I would remove this blight from the face of the planet, and what was more: I would enjoy it. I listened more, just hearing the man's voice made me seethe.

_Yes…a girl…I will kill her tonight…I must kill again…_

Twenty-seven blocks. That was how far away he was. I turned to grab my coat (although truly unnecessary, it was a guise so that I might not seem to out of place among the rest of humanity walking around in a blizzard wearing only a V-neck and some slacks) and caught sight of a light in the window I had not seen before. I stopped and stared intently to try and catch the color which had eluded me- and then I saw it. Red. Crimson red.

I stared into my reflection for what felt like hours.

I was horrified and exhilarated by what I saw. A monster. A soulless beast which required a blood sacrifice to continue its own cursed existence. Why bother? Why not give up? I had found nothing of significance in this life. Carlisle. He had saved me- No- he had deprived me a peaceful death, and a restful afterlife with my own kinsmen. Though this thought angered me…I could not hate Carlisle, he was like a father to me. One who had shown me kindness and compassion and refused to see me as a monster…even though I knew the truth. I was a monster. And although I refused to conform to Carlisle's "vegetarian" lifestyle…I decided that I could use this curse to alleviate the stresses and pains from humanity.

I finally tore my eyes away from my reflection.

Slowly, I grabbed my coat. It was a black trench coat- and I mused that this "rogue" portion of my existence may have been the only time when I had ever worn black. This was not because I liked the color…no, it was more for my own sanity. The less that my prey saw me coming, the more I blended into the shadows like the evil, avenging angel I was- the less I would have to endure whatever thoughts crept into their skulls. Even in the end, villains weren't all bad. Most were frightened little children at heart, and it was impossible for me to endure the fact that I might actually have just fed on a child.

I walked out the door of my apartment to the hall and locked the door behind me, although if I had left it open there wasn't much for anyone to steal. Just some clothes, a couple of CD's, and some books. All things to occupy my time, until it was time to feed again. Unfortunately, there was no piano in my apartment, however a very beautiful grand piano resided in the hotel lobby. I sometimes played there for my own amusement, although this was not too often for my playing usually attracted a crowd.

I walked past the elevators and opened the door to the stairs. Hearing no thoughts among the staircases I flew down the flights with my inhuman speed. I opened the door to the lobby and in an instant had seen all there was to see. Although everything that there was to see, was still of no interest to me. I chuckled to myself though, and took a photograph in my mind of the scene. It was like some great, boring tableaux of all trivial human interactions. But for me, there was more, there were the thoughts.

There was the couple at the counter holding hands and fawning over each other, barely able to restrain themselves while the receptionist pattered away at the keyboard checking their room registration. The thought process there was nothing new- most humans wanted only one thing: sex. I thought about the last time I had felt stirrings of the sort, and was slightly shocked to realize that since the beginning of my time as a vampire…I had never felt anything remotely close to it. In fact, when I went looking for those feelings, as if expecting them to logically be there, there was only a void.

I saw the children playing tag across the marble floor, and heard their mother's worried thoughts about tripping over the rug in the center of the room, which was the island upon which the piano rested. Like a refuge. Something so stolid, so isolated, yet the closest to home I could ever feel. I resigned that I would play the piano when I returned tonight.

I decided that I cared little about the rest of the tableaux, and that I really must hurry to catch my appointment. Although, being late was never and issue for me. I pushed open the door to the city streets and nodded at the man outside who opened the doors for others. His neck was stuffed into his shirt, and his hands were in his pockets as he shivered. I mentally thanked him for letting me know how to appropriate myself to looking normal. Logically, my senses told me that the wind was blowing, and it was cold- but I felt nothing. So popping up the collar on my jacket and imitating the man I began to walk the streets of the city which I so hated.

The walk itself was uneventful. I spent most of my time trying to mute out the other voices and focus on the one tonight which would become silent. I was only slightly aware of how detached I was from the world around me. All the people huddled and walking by, careful to avoid crashing into other strangers, everyone with their own agenda, hidden or otherwise, cars screeching, sirens wailing somewhere far off in the distance, assorted animal cries, the winds howling, the falling snow. I thought it was impossible for a vampire such as me to be on sensory overload- I guess I was wrong.

I was at the twenty-sixth block when I heard the man exiting his house…upon further inspection I learned he had a back alley in which he resided, waiting for his helpless prey. He hid behind a wall and grabbed any who came too close pulling them into the blackness to be consumed by his ill will.

There were no stars; there was no moon this night. He would be hidden well.

I quickly cut behind a building into a back alley, and when nobody was looking I scaled up the wall to the rooftops, all the while wondering why I hadn't taken this solution from the beginning. Had I grown too accustomed to walking among humanity? Or was I looking for something…I was suddenly reminded of the void I felt within myself, but shook it off in preparation for honing my senses for the kill.

He waited.

I waited.

He felt his prey draw near.

I drew nearer to my prey.

He grabbed the unsuspecting blonde woman by her hair and clamped her mouth.

I leapt down from the rooftop in shadow. The thoughts that I heard swimming in my head made me want to rip the man in half long-wise and leave the innards for the ravenous dogs wandering the streets. I swept up behind the man and broke his arm in three places before his thoughts even had time to react. Before he could scream, I clamped his mouth and broke his leg in two places letting him collapse.

The frightened woman screamed with her newfound freedom and ran helplessly for her life. Never once looking back. Never once caring what had saved her. It was perfect.

I released my hand from the man's mouth and he let out a cry that would be expected from a full grown man having broken multiple bones in mere fractions of seconds.

"Rest in peace," I muttered to myself as I rotated the man's head in a quick three hundred and sixty degree motion, breaking the neck completely.

"And let me eat in peace," I said to nobody in particular.

The man's eyes were what stopped me. Green eyes. Like the ones I used to have. And as I stared into those eyes, I saw my own red eyes reflecting. I stared and stared at the man, unable to rip my gaze away from his clouded, dead one. The blood was getting cold. I knew it, but I didn't care. I wasn't thirsty anymore. Vigilante, avenging angel, silent hero. Whatever it was I had been parading around as, I suddenly realized that no matter how much I tried to justify what I was, I was just like this man. Heeding primal instincts, feeding a lust for blood, a lust to kill.

I could try and cover it up a thousand ways, with a thousand different names: I was still just a monster. I was no better than the scum I fed upon.

I let the corpse sink to the ground.

I didn't want to play piano anymore. I just wanted to go home. To see Carlisle. I just didn't want to be a monster anymore.


End file.
